


Quiet Crow

by ive_been_losing_sleep



Series: Quiet Crow and Companions [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst at the beginning, Deaf Character, Hard of Hearing!Hinata, Hina shows up second chapter, M/M, Miscarriage, Parents!Akaashi and Bokuto, child!Hinata, first fic, hard of hearing character, he'll be there do not fret, not mpreg, rain before the rainbow and all that shit, sorry if its awful, they live in America, what the heck am i doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-16 15:12:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5830312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ive_been_losing_sleep/pseuds/ive_been_losing_sleep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokuto and Akaashi had lost their hope of having a family. </p><p>It's a good thing that happiness can occur even after heart ache.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Best Laid Schemes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "For the Best Laid Schemes of Mice and Men,  
> Often Go Awry"  
> -To a Mouse, Robert Burns

When Bokuto woke up that morning, he was sure that he was the happiest man on the planet. 

Sunlight was beginning to stream in through their window and the room was cast in a warm, comfortable glow. The sounds of traffic outside of their small apartment were quieter than they typically were at this hour, an insignificant hum of engines rather than the usual jabber of blaring car horns and yells of angry drivers. 

And the one thing that truly filled his heart with unadulterated elation: the sleeping face of Akaashi Keiji beside him. 

Maybe, on a regular day, Bokuto’s head would be laying on the pillow alongside his partner’s. But today, Bokuto was even more restless and excited than he usually was. Today was special. 

Today, they’d learn the sex of their baby. 

_Their baby._

Even after these past few months, Bokuto can’t fully process the thought. The idea that, in just a few months he and Akaashi will be fathers still sends a shiver down his spine. They’ve been together for 7 wonderful years (after nearly two years of pining on Bokuto’s part) and they’ve been discussing the idea of starting a family for almost half of that time; looking for surrogates, managing finances to fit another person, making sure their apartment could fit them all. And, finally, it’s becoming a reality. 

Yeah, he’s definitely the happiest man on the planet. 

 

When their relationship began in his 2nd year at university - after Bokuto had dramatically grabbed Akaashi at the end of a tournament match and kissed him in front of not only his team, but hundreds of spectators - Bokuto was terrified that it would combust in an angry storm of fire and brimstone. After all, Bokuto knew that he was a little hard to handle, a tornado that, with his moodiness, could become a tempest in almost no time at all. But Akaashi was calm and composed, a perfect counter to Bokuto’s excitable and frenzied nature. He was able to reign him back in moments of insane enthusiasm, and even knew how to handle his constantly changing mood. 

Akaashi was the perfect person to calm his storms. 

University was hard on their relationship. Majoring in psychology, Akaashi was burdened with a multitude classes and Bokuto didn’t have much free time with his sports medicine classes, so their time together was sparse. Slowly, stress started to gnaw away at their relationship until the ropes that held them together were reduced to nothing but thin threads. 

But they loved each other and refused to let this be the end of their happiness. They saw each other at every given opportunity, even if the most they could accomplish were 5 minute chats in between classes. And their effort paid off; they managed to weave the threads holding them together into thick chorded cables. 

And things only got better. 

A year after Akaashi graduated from university, he started work as a family therapist while Bokuto worked at a physical rehabilitation center nearby. They had decent incomes and were easily able to afford their shared apartment in the middle of New York, along with some luxuries (such as the 5 different video game consoles and the flat screen television that Bokuto insisted on having). 

They had settled into a routine, and Bokuto thought that nothing would ever change it. 

Until one of Akaashi’s old high school friends offered him a job as a psychotherapist in Chicago.

Akaashi had immediately denied the offer. He and Bokuto had a life here in New York and he would never put his boyfriend in the position of choosing between him and their home. He didn’t even plan on telling Bokuto about the offer. 

Bokuto would never have even known about it if he hadn’t have been digging through the trash one day (he was looking for the T.V. remote he had misplaced, and it’s been found in stranger places before) when he stumbled upon the papers. He had promptly cornered Akaashi (only after finding the remote in the bathroom medicine cabinet) and interrogated him as to why he would - literally - throw away such a wonderful opportunity. 

Akaashi had barely even spared his boyfriend a glance and continued preparing their dinner while he answered. “I have a job already. I don’t need one in Chicago.”

“But, Akaashi,” Bokuto whined. He shoved the papers, covered in sauce and food that had been thrown into the trash on top of them, into Akaashi’s face and pointed furiously at the numbers listed across the sheet. “You’d make so much money! Look at all those zeroes!”

Akaashi calmly moved the papers away from his eyes so he could fix his boyfriend with a deadpan stare. “Money isn’t everything, Kou. And even if it was, I make more than enough with my job now.”

“I know money’s not everything,” Bokuto said, but he was staring down at the paper with such glee that Akaashi didn’t quite believe him. At least not until he moved his attention from the numbers and back to Akaashi’s face with a serious expression. “And I also know that being a family therapist isn’t what you really want to be. You love helping people, because you’re a great person and I love you for that so, so much. And I know that you’re happy helping counsel families so they can maintain healthy relationships. But I know that you’re not entirely satisfied with working with families when you could be helping people who need help with their relationship with themselves.”

Akaashi didn’t say anything for a while. “But,” he started, “what about you? You have a job here, and you have friends, and your _family_. Why would you want to give that up?”

Bokuto blinked slowly (in the back of his mind, Akaashi’s mind conjured up the image of an owl and he must admit that the resemblance is uncanny). Then, faster than Akaashi could follow, Bokuto flew at him and wrapped his arms tightly around his shoulders. With his smile pressed firmly into the crook of Akaashi’s neck, he mumbled, “Because I love you, and I want you to do the things that make you happy.” A soft kiss is pressed to Akaashi’s neck before he pulled away. He let his arms fall from around Akaashi’s shoulders and they trailed down his arms before clasping his hands tightly. “Besides, it’s not like they don’t have physical therapists in America. I’m sure I can find work there, too.” 

Akaashi glanced down at their joined hands before looking up at Bokuto’s face. He was almost blinded by Bokuto’s grin and he easily responded with his own, smaller, smile. “Okay,” he agreed, “I’ll think about it.”

They moved to Chicago by the end of that year.

 

Chicago wasn’t too different from New York. It’s crowded and busy and everyone always seems like they’re in a rush. The buildings are cramped together and the traffic is so god-awful that Bokuto regularly thanked the heavens for the subway lines. They found a nice apartment, even bigger than their old one in New York, and Bokuto found a job in the rehabilitation wing of a nearby hospital.

They made fast friends with Koushi Sugawara, Akaashi’s friend who offered him the job, and his husband Daichi Sawamura. They had a small apartment in the same apartment complex and helped Bokuto and Akaashi find their way around the city when they were first getting settled. 

And it’s not until Bokuto meets Suga and Daichi’s son, a frowny, constantly-crying, potato-shaped baby named Tobio, that he realizes what he wants more than anything in the world. 

A family. 

And the first step was to get Akaashi to marry him. 

Bokuto had it all planned out. Well, he had it all planned out until he realized just how expensive it was to rent a flock of trained owls to spell out the words ‘Will You Marry Me?’. So, instead, he waited until he and Akaashi went back to New York to visit their family to propose. There were a lot of tears, and a lot of smiles, and Bokuto prayed that they would be this happy for the rest of their life together. 

After that came the wedding. And, while Bokuto is positive that it would’ve been even more memorable if Akaashi had let him wear the goddamn wedding dress, it was still the happiest night of their entire lives. All through the evening, nothing could wipe the smiles off of their faces (except maybe when Bokuto shoved his poor husband’s face into the wedding cake, but even then the scowl was more out of fond exasperation than actual irritation). And now they were married. 

And now that they were married, it was on to step 3: baby-making. 

Unfortunately, considering the fact that they were both very male, achieving this baby through traditional means was out of the question (and this was super unfortunate because if they could be fathers just from completing the hankey-pankey, they would’ve achieved this step a long time ago). Instead, Akaashi and Bokuto spent the next several months finding someone suitable enough to be their surrogate. Eventually they settled on a nice, pretty woman named Sydney and, after several meetings to ensure that she was worthy of carrying a child as precious and special as theirs, the decision was made. 

They were having a baby.

 

Which brings them to a little more than half a year later.

Saying that Bokuto is excited on the drive to the hospital would be a severe understatement. He’s fidgeting so much in his seat that Akaashi half expects his seatbelt to tear from all the strain it’s being put under and he’s already slapped Akaashi across the face several times with his overzealous gesturing. 

When Bokuto’s hand once again makes contact with Akaashi’s forehead, he sighs and removes one hand from the steering wheel to grab his boyfriend by the wrist. “Koutarou, please calm down.”

“Calm down?!” Akaashi moves his eyes from the road just long enough to glance at Bokuto’s expression and isn’t surprised to see his jaw hanging slack in horrified shock. “How could I calm down?! We’re having a _baby_ , Keiji. And we get to hear his heartbeat! Or maybe her heartbeat!” There’s a thud, and Keiji glances downward to find that Bokuto had heavily plopped his head against the divider between their seats. He stares up at his husband with a beaming smile and says, “And I know you’re just as excited as I am, Keiji.”

For once in probably a long while, Bokuto was right. Akaashi was just as anxious to get to the hospital as his husband was. Because, while their baby has technically existed for a while now, it still felt like a dream that he’d wake up from and he figures that today’s ultrasound would make him realize that _no, Keiji, this isn’t a dream, you’re having a baby_. 

And just the thought is enough to cause a small smile to slip onto his face and for his free hand to find its way into Bokuto’s. 

They are going to be fathers. 

 

They aren’t going to be fathers. 

Akaashi and Bokuto are sitting in that hospital room, Sydney laying in front of them with the gel spread around her stomach, and all three of them are staring at the doctor. 

_They can’t find a heart beat._

“There has to be a heart beat,” Bokuto’s words are hoarse and his voice is crumbling as he speaks; his hand is grasping Akaashi’s so desperately that Akaashi half expects to hear the bones in his hand crack. 

But even that would have to be less painful than _this_. 

He can still vaguely hear Bokuto still speaking to the doctor, each word sounding more broken and hopeless than the last. “If there’s no heart beat then there’s no baby.” He lets out a laugh and its so flat, so bitter and so broken and Akaashi never thought he’d ever hear him sound so empty. “There has to be a baby.”

And suddenly Akaashi can’t stop himself and sobs are tearing their way out of his throat. He buries his face into his hands and hopes that the tears burning his eyes take all of his despair with them as they streak down his face. Instead, every drop that leaves only seems to make more room for the misery to grow and multiply; it expands in his chest, choking the air from his lungs and he swears to God he’s never felt so dead inside. 

The baby’s gone. 

Bokuto must have realized that no matter how much he begs, the doctor’s news won’t change, and he buries his face against Akaashi’s shoulder, soaking the shoulder of his husband’s shirt with his own bitter despair. 

Sydney, with her own eyes glossed with tears, is repeating apologies and, while Akaashi would never blame her for something brought upon them by evil misfortune, he can’t help but think that she doesn’t understand. Even though she carried their child, the baby was never _hers_. She didn’t have a future with him, one that she was expecting and looking forward to with nothing but optimism, ripped away from her as if it was never even a possibility.

The baby’s _gone_. 

And nothing was going to change that. 

 

They go home to an apartment that suddenly seems too big, too barren, too empty. They head straight to their bedroom, walking past the nursery already filled with a crib and toys and colorful paintings. They ignore the ringing of their cell phones, probably Suga and Daichi expecting happy news from their hospital visit, and cocoon themselves within a mountain of blankets stacked up on top of their bed. Their arms wrap around each other, hoping that, if they hide away, they can protect themselves from the cold reality that has engulfed them. 

When they go to bed that night, Bokuto and Akaashi are sure that they are the most miserable men on the planet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What the hell am I doing? 
> 
> This is the first fic I've actually written out, so please excuse me if it's absolutely awful. I know a lot of this chapter is just me hashing out everything that has happened in their life so far, but I hope the angst towards the end there was substantial enough to make up for it?
> 
> Yeah, sorry about that.
> 
> Gotta rain before there's a rainbow and all that jazz.


	2. Another Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is hard, but good things always come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Walk Along to Another Day,  
> Work a Little Harder, Work Another Way"  
> -World at Large, Modest Mouse

Bokuto and drinking is never a good combination. 

Especially when Kuroo is also added into the equation. 

Akaashi was pretty positive that these weekly group outings would one day be the death of him. Nearly every Friday, the group of five - Akaashi, Bokuto, Akaashi’s nearly-as-annoying-as-Bokuto co-worker Kuroo, Kuroo’s boyfriend Kenma, and Suga whenever he has the time - meet up at Rolling Thunder for a few drinks. 

And each and every time, his birdbrain husband gets drunk off his ass and he and Kuroo, his slightly more coherent best friend, go off and do their own, idiotic thing that Akaashi always gets fed up with at some point. 

Tonight, when Bokuto breaks out into a rendition of Eye of the Tiger, Akaashi decides he has had enough and takes a seat next to Suga at the bar. 

At his approach, Suga waves his hand to get the bartender’s attention. He orders another drink for himself and, despite his protests, another one for Akaashi. “Oh, be quiet,” he snickers as their drinks are placed in front of them. “This is the first time I’ve been out since Daichi started working again. Do you know how little free time you get with a job and a two year old?”

No, Akaashi doesn’t know how little free time you get with a job and a two year old. Instead of answering, he reaches for the drink that he’s suddenly really thankful for. 

He knows that Suga hadn’t meant to be insensitive; when sober, Suga is the kindest, most considerate person Akaashi knows. And it’s been over a year since that awful, miserable day. 

But it still doesn’t make his comment hurt any less.

He watches as Suga turns in his barstool and continues grumbling to Kenma about how _he’s so overworked_ and _if only Tobio-chan let him get more than four hours of sleep_. 

And Akaashi wants to down his drink and slam his head down onto the table. 

He wants to grab Suga by the shoulders and shake him until he sees stars. 

He wants to make him understand that _what the hell are you complaining about, you have a fucking kid, do you know how amazing that is, not all of us are so lucky_.

_Akaashi_ isn’t so lucky. 

But he manages to stay calm and settles for just downing his beer. When it’s empty, he calls the bartender over to order another one. 

The bartender hands him his drink. 

And then slams his palms against the table. 

Akaashi’s so surprised that he nearly drops his beer and he looks up at the man across the counter. 

He’s considerably short and his hair is spiked and dyed so unusually that Akaashi is afraid that if Bokuto saw him he would want to mimic the hairstyle (and Akaashi already has enough time dealing with the haircut he has now). His eyes are bright and eager, shining with a mischievous light and an impish smile is fixed across his face. He looks like the kind of person that would cover your car with sticky notes or tape printouts of his face on every flat surface in your office. 

Akaashi subtly shifts in his seat and prays that he’s hidden the bartender from his husband’s sight because there’s no way in hell he’s letting these two ever meet. 

“My name’s Yuu,” he introduces himself. Akaashi remains silent, but the bartender is undeterred and trucks on. “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation -“

A laugh from the back room interrupts him. “‘Couldn’t help but overhear’?! Are you sure you weren’t eavesdropping on the customers again, Noya?”

“Shut the hell up, Ryuu!” Noya - didn’t he say his name was Yuu? - shouts back. “I’m trying to have a conversation over here!” He continues glaring at the back room as if he’s daring the same voice to interrupt him once again. “Anyway,” he says after a while, “I heard that you guys are therapists?”

Suga answers for Akaashi and thank God for that because Akaashi really doesn’t want to deal with what is essentially another Bokuto right now. “Yeah, we all work at an office downtown. Are you looking for a therapist?”

“Not for me,” Noya goes back to work, busying his hands by wiping up some dirty glasses with a rag. “Do any of you guys work with kids? A friend of mine runs a youth home and he has a lot of kids that have gone through some serious shit and…”

While Noya talks, Akaashi turns his attention to the back of the bar to make sure his husband hasn’t been thrown out yet (because while they were both legally adults, Akaashi was really the only mature one). Surprisingly, Bokuto is no longer making a gigantic fool out himself, and he and Kuroo are sitting at a table hugging furiously. Over the loud music of the bar, Akaashi can barely hear a frequent muttering of “bro.”

Akaashi doesn’t even want to know. 

“What about sign language?” Noya is asking.

“Sign language?” 

“Yeah,” Noya nods and sets down the glass he was cleaning. “One of the kids he’s got there, he’s deaf, can’t hear a single thing. Luckily Asahi - that’s my friend - knows sign language so the kid’s been picking it up. You know how hearing babies do that little babbling thing where they think they’re talking coherently but it’s nothing but nonsense with a couple of actual words thrown in? He does that, too, but with his hands! He’s super cute and so happy and always smiling.” The grin on Noya’s face tapers off. “His parents were really awful to him, though, before Asahi got to him. Asahi thinks it’d be good for him to talk to someone.”

Suga frowns. “I don’t think anyone knows sign-”

“Tetsurou knows sign language,” Kenma interrupts without looking up from the phone in his hands.

Akaashi blinks. “He does?” He’s known Kuroo for over four years and he’s been Bokuto’s best friend for nearly that whole time, but he has never known this.

Kenma nods and sets his phone down on the bar table in front of him. “I use it when I feel too overwhelmed ‘cause it’s easier than words sometimes. He learned it to help me out.”

“That’s great then!” Suga says and claps his hands together. “I can give you my card, Yuu, and you can pass it on to your friend!” 

Noya grins. He’s probably about to say something else but he’s interrupted by two grown men slamming into the counter. 

“Keiji,” Bokuto whines, draping himself over his husband. He mumbles into Akaashi’s shoulder incoherently, and Akaashi spares a glance to the side to find Kenma in a similar position beneath Kuroo. 

“I think it’s time we head out,” he says and stands, shifting the dead weight of his husband so that one of his arms is wrapped around his waist. He says his goodbyes to everybody (feeling sympathetic for Kenma who has to carry his significantly taller boyfriend to their car) and drags Bokuto out of the bar. 

 

Bokuto spends the beginning of that night puking into the toilet. Akaashi’s concerned because, while his husband was no stranger to alcohol and hangovers, it has been a long time since he’s drunk enough to be sick so quickly after returning home. 

“Did something happen, Koutarou?” Akaashi asks after Bokuto finishes emptying his stomach. They’re sitting in their kitchen and Akaashi can think of no other reason for his husband to have drunk so much. 

When Bokuto flinches at the question, he gets his answer. 

Rather than pester him for details, Akaashi stands to pour a glass of water and places it in front of him. When he sits down again, Bokuto has dropped his head into his hands. 

“I got laid off.”

_Fuck._

Bokuto’s hands drop, but his head drops with them and hits the table with a loud thud. “I’m so sorry. So, so sorry, Keiji. I knew they were going to having cut backs, but I thought I was safe. But they laid off my entire department, Keiji. The entire rehabilitation department. What the fuck? Why the hell would they…” He raises his head, wiping at his watery eyes and runny nose. “I’m so sorry,” he repeats. “I can’t even keep a job and-”

“Koutarou.” Bokuto’s eyes snap up to meet Akaashi’s and he watches as he stands and makes his way around the table. Akaashi pulls out the chair next to him and takes his husband’s face into his hands. “It’s not your fault,” he says convincingly. “Sometimes, things just happen and fuck everything up and it’s not anyone’s fault. It’s just the universe being an asshole and deciding that it’d be entertaining to screw us over.” 

Bokuto nods and presses his forehead against Akaashi’s, bumping their lips together lightly. “The world’s been fucking us over a lot hasn’t it?” His smile is sad and disappointed, but Akaashi knows that he’s feeling a little more hopeful than a few minutes before. 

“Yeah.” Akaashi thinks back to the baby they were supposed to have, and all the pain they’ve gone through because of it. They were sluggish for months after the fact and for a long time, they avoided the memory altogether. Being around Suga and his happy, complete, family sickened them both, and they avoided almost all contact with the very people they called their best friends. They refused to even enter the room that was meant to be the nursery for almost six months and, when they finally faced reality and went to clean it out, Akaashi had a break down that turned him into a zombie for another couple of weeks. 

It was so hard, _so hard_ , to accept the fact that he wasn’t going to be a father. Even now, he can’t dwell too much on the topic for risk of falling into the same depression. When they actually managed to clear out that damn room, it was over a period of several weeks and Akaashi was sure that he and Bokuto had cried enough tears to drown themselves. 

They had discussed the possibility of trying again, _of course_ they had. But every time Akaashi began to even think of looking for another surrogate, he was overcome with fear. If this happened again, he wouldn’t be able to handle it. He just wouldn’t. There’s no way in hell he’d risk going through that pain ever again. 

And how could he ever dream of replacing _his child_. Their baby wasn’t some _thing_ that, when it broke, you just went out and got another one. He’d always love that baby, even if he never held him, even if he never even breathed. 

He didn’t think he could ever just hand over that love to someone else. 

And Bokuto couldn’t disagree. 

They decided against trying for another baby. They’d rather live feeling incomplete than even think about betraying the family they could’ve had. 

Akaashi has never felt as despondent and unsatisfied as he has this past year. So when Bokuto says that the universe has really fucked them over, Akaashi can only respond with: “Yeah, it really has.”

 

Akaashi’s therapy office is small. The building only houses him, Kuroo and Suga, and they don’t have a large client base. But they’re all good at what they do so they manage to be pretty successful. 

There’s a secretary desk in the front of the building, usually worked by a calm, pretty woman named Shimizu Kiyoko, who is so beautiful that Bokuto constantly worries that she’ll steal his husband away from him (he doesn’t seem to realize that Akaashi is very much gay, especially for Bokuto). There’s enough room in the waiting room to seat about four people, which is fine for the small amount of regular clients that they have. 

Towards the back, there are five separate rooms; one for each therapist, a break room where Kuroo stores his frozen burritos, and an extra office in case they ever decide to hire a fourth person. 

The walls of Akaashi’s office are covered in book shelves, plaques, and pictures of some of his previous clients. There’s a couch pressed against a wall with a chair sitting across from it and there’s a desk that is only used for paperwork near the far corner. 

When Akaashi goes to work that Monday, he’s faced with the stress of not only performing well enough to receive a paycheck, but to earn enough to cover the bills of two people. Rationally, he knows that he and Bokuto were, and probably still are, well off, but it does little to ease his tension. 

And it doesn’t help that, as soon as he opens the door to his office building, he’s faced with half a dozen screaming toddlers. 

They’re making a mess of the waiting room, tearing up magazines and pushing the chairs across the floor. Above them, a very large but very frazzled man, is trying to get them all under control. 

When the man sees Akaashi, his face loses all of its color. “I am so sorry!” He says, and manages to grab one kid around his waist and hoists him up and onto his shoulders. The kid, now taller than the rest of his friends, begins shouting triumphantly and pulling on the man’s long, brown hair. 

Akaashi really doesn’t want to deal with this right now but, “Do you need any help?”

“Honestly,” the man starts, “I don’t think all the help in the world would do any good.” He scrubs a hand down the side of his face and groans; Akaashi begins to think that the poor guy might need more therapy than the children do.

“I’m Asahi,” he introduces and holds out his hand for Akaashi to take. 

“Keiji Akaashi. You’re Yuu’s friend? The one with the youth home?” The screaming toddlers suddenly make a lot more sense. 

“Yeah,” Asahi leans down to grab a little boy pulling on a smaller’s girl pigtails and pulls him away from her. “It’s, uh, it’s chaotic. But rewarding.” 

“Did Kiyoko check you in already?”

“Yes, thank you. Two of them are already in their appointments with Dr. Kuroo and Sugawara.”

_Holy shit there were more of them._

Akaashi nods to the man before he wades through the sea of children. By the time he reaches the safety of his office, he’s been nearly knocked over twice, and he’s had to remove one screaming child from his pant leg. 

These children were rambunctious, senseless and loud little monsters. They were annoying and obnoxious and, even through the closed door of his room, he could still hear them causing mayhem. 

The longing he’s felt for the past year doubles.

 

He thought he’s moved past this. Sure, there were some days where the loneliness suffocates him, but it’s something he’s learned to live with. He just isn’t meant to be a father, and that’s the end of that story. 

Except now it isn’t. 

Every sound from the kids outside his door is like a sucker punch to the gut. 

And, when Bokuto barges into his office for lunch, he knows that his husband feels the same way. 

They skirt around the subject, though, since it brings up memories that are too heavy to recall at his work. Bokuto sits on the desk, chewing on his pizza slice and spilling marinara sauce all over the paperwork Akaashi is trying to fill out. 

“If this is going to be a regular thing with all your free time,” Akaashi says as he throws away another paper that pizza stains have made unrecognizable, “it’s even more urgent to find you a new job than I initially thought.”

“Keiji,” Bokuto huffs and falls backward across Akaashi’s desk; the unfinished pizza slice splats across the papers beside him. He opens his mouth, probably to whine or tease Akaashi about how much he actually enjoys his company, but he’s cut off by the office door swinging open and slamming into the wall. 

In the doorway is a small child, probably only two years old, wearing a yellow shirt, denim overalls and a dopey smile (Akaashi never thought he’d see a smile brighter than his husband’s, but sunshine incarnate must literally be standing right in front of him). His orange hair is unruly, his clothes are covered in rips and scuff marks, and his left elbow is covered by a neon blue band-aid. 

He is the most adorable kid Akaashi has ever seen and, judging from the strangled sound Bokuto makes from his place on the desk, his husband must think so, too.

Akaashi half-expects the kid to be as loud as all of his friends in the waiting room - there’s no way in hell a kid with a smile like that is _quiet_ \- but he only raises his hand to his forehead and flicks it to the side like a sideways salute. That’s the only movement that Akaashi’s eyes can follow before the boy’s hands are flying in front of him.

They’re both trying to figure out what the hell is going on when Asahi runs into the office and scoops the kid into his arms. The boy squirms for a second, but settles down when Asahi places him against the side of his hip. He busies himself by playing with the man’s free hand. 

Ignoring the tugging on his fingers, Asahi bows his head. “Did he bother you?” He asks. “I guess his appointment with Dr. Kuroo ended, and he decided to explore a little bit.”

That’s all it takes for Akaashi to connect the dots; the kid _was_ loud, just not in the way Akaashi assumed he would be. “He’s the deaf one that your friend mentioned.”

Bokuto’s jaw drops. “That was sign language? That’s so cool!”

“I- um- I guess so,” Asahi readjusts the boy on his hip and the kid startles at the movement, looking up at his caretaker with shining eyes, then he redirects his attention to the two new people in front of him. 

Akaashi gives the child a hesitant smile, and he returns it full force with his own grin of pure sunshine. “What’s his name?”

Asahi taps the boy on his head to grab his attention. “Do you want to tell them your name?” As he speaks, he signs out his words with his hands (the movements are kind of awkward because one arm is supporting the toddler on his hip) and the sunshine child watches attentively. When he’s finished, he gives a vigorous nod and turns back to Bokuto and Akaashi. 

With that same dopey grin, he begins to make little shapes with his right hand. He makes a fist with his hand; he presses his first two fingers together and turns them sideways; he makes a circle by pressing his four fingers against his thumb; he presses together the same two fingers as before, but he makes them stand upright like a Scout’s Honor; he places his middle three fingers against his palm and sticks out his thumb and pinky like he’s at a rock concert; he makes another circle; another Scout’s Honor.

At the very end, he makes the same fist that he first used before, and circles it by his forehead, before relaxing the shape. 

“His name’s Shouyou,” Asahi translates. “The very last thing was his sign name. It’s like an ’s’, and he uses the sign for sun.”

Shouyou starts wiggling around again and manages to squirm his way out of Asahi’s grip, landing quietly on the floor. He charges forward and for a second Akaashi thinks he’s going to him, but he stops in front of the glass bowl full of lollipops on Akaashi’s desk. He points at the bowl and curves his hands, pulling them into his body. 

“Can he have a lollipop?” Asahi asks. 

Bokuto nods vigorously, almost falling off of the desk in his enthusiasm to hand a candy to Shouyou. The little boy’s grin grows even larger. 

The light beaming from Shouyou’s smile hypnotizes Bokuto and fills him with an affectionate warmth he doesn’t recognize. Before he can stop himself, he leans over to ruffle the boy’s hair. 

Shouyou instantly catapults himself into Bokuto’s lap and makes himself comfortable, still sucking happily on his lollipop. 

It’s the first time in over a year that Bokuto feels complete. 

When he looks over at Akaashi, his husband looks forlorn. But there’s something pensive and contemplative hiding behind his expression. 

Bokuto looks back down at Shouyou and prays that Akaashi’s expression means what he think it does. 

There’s a yell from the waiting room and Asahi cringes. “I should go take care of that.” He reaches forward to remove Shouyou from Bokuto’s lap, but Bokuto shakes his head. 

Asahi doesn’t miss how he subtly tightens his hold on Shouyou. 

“He can stay in here until the other kids are done with their sessions,” Akaashi says.

Asahi looks like he’s about to protest, but at the sound of a crash and another shout, he darts out of the office without turning back. 

Which leaves Akaashi, Bokuto and Shouyou alone in the room. 

Ignoring Bokuto’s gaze, Akaashi reaches for a desk drawer and pulls out a box of colored pencils and coloring books (he always had a supply on hand to occupy his raucous husband). He sits on the floor and tosses the coloring books in front of him. 

Bokuto makes an eager noise and slips off the desk, still holding Shouyou tightly against his chest. At the sight of the coloring books though, Shouyou breaks free of his hold to grab a couple of pencils and a book with a lion on the cover. Initially, he sits criss-cross-applesauce on the carpet, but after a couple of minutes he stands up. 

And plops himself right into Akaashi’s lap. 

Akaashi blinks and can’t resist glancing at his husband. Bokuto has paused coloring in his giraffe and is staring at Shouyou with an unreadable expression. When they make eye contact, Bokuto gives him a serious nod. 

There would be a conversation later. 

But for the next hour, they color with Shouyou, petting his hair and taking turns pulling him against their chests. 

They don’t feel any trace of heartache until Asahi comes to take Shouyou back to the youth home. He signs one last thing for Asahi to translate before he races out the door. 

_Goodbye! Please, visit me!_

 

“We never really discussed adoption. Maybe this is a sign. The universe telling us to move on and giving us the perfect way to do it.”

“This is a big decision and you’re basing it off of what the universe is ‘telling us?’”

“That’s how I make all of my best decisions! I have you now, don’t I?”

 

The youth home is smaller than they expected. It’s only one floor with four bedrooms, one bathroom and a small living area attached to the side of the kitchen. 

But it’s happy. 

Drawings and colorings are thumbtacked to the walls in the hallway, hanging proudly next to pictures of smiling children. Some photos are shots of a single child, some have a group of kids, but the majority of them are happy faced children standing next to what must be their new families. Laughter rings throughout the entire home, harmonizing with the warm sounds of a television and the air carries the smell of cookies and chocolate. 

They follow Asahi as he leads him to the office near the back of the house. He points out the different areas of the home while trying to keep them out of the line of sight of eager children. 

Only one child manages to slip past his radar. 

Shouyou bowls into Bokuto with so much force that he nearly falls over; he probably would have, too, if Akaashi hadn’t pressed his hand against his husband’s back to keep him upright. The sunshine child wraps his arms around Bokuto’s leg and gives a firm squeeze.Then he spins around to do the same as Akaashi. 

The smile that lights up Shouyou’s face dispels the doubts still lingering in Akaashi’s head. 

Maybe being happy isn’t a betrayal to the family that could’ve been. 

_Yeah,_ he thinks, _this is a good decision._

“Sorry, Asahi. He just slipped past me.” Akaashi’s surprised to see the bartender from Rolling Thunder entering behind Shouyou, signing his words as he speaks. He crouches so that’s eye level to Shouyou and pokes him in the side. “Shouyou’s like a tiny ninja.”

Shouyou must recognize the sign for ninja, because he jumps away from Akaashi to take a karate stance. For emphasis, he gently karate-chops Noya on his head. 

“That’s alright, Noya. Shouyou can stay with us, if that’s alright with them.” Even though Asahi’s not directly talking to Shouyou, Akaashi notes that he’s still signing his words out. 

“That’s perfect!” Bokuto answers and wraps his arms around Shouyou to hoist him upward. Shouyou laughs gleefully and holds his hands in front of his chest, making small circles. 

Noya grins. “I’ll go watch the others then,” and leans up to peck Asahi on the cheek. Before he leaves, he gives Shouyou a kiss on his forehead and signs something to him that causes the little boy to nod happily. 

Asahi leads them into the office and Bokuto and Akaashi take a seat on the couch with Shouyou sprawled across Bokuto’s lap. Asahi sits across from them in a large leather chair and pulls a manilla folder off of the table next to him. 

“I’m glad that you guys are looking into adoption. Sometimes I feel like people forget it’s an option and there are a lot of really great kids that are looking for families.” On the couch, Shouyou rolls off of Bokuto’s lap and crawls into Akaashi’s. Akaashi looks down at him and smiles softly, tugging the boy’s back against his chest and wrapping his arms around his stomach. When Shouyou grins up at him, he gives the boy a gentle squeeze.

Affection swells in Bokuto’s chest at the sight. 

“There’s going to be a lot of paperwork to fill out,” Asahi continues. “And we’ll give you a survey that asks you some questions so we can try to match you with the right kind of child-”

Bokuto’s never really been one to plan things out and fill out paperwork. And he certainly wasn’t going to fill out a survey when he and Akaashi already knew which kid they wanted. 

“We’re going to adopt Shouyou.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at the length of this puppy!
> 
> (Don't expect this fic to be super long. There's only one more definite chapter and maybe another depending on how I feel with the ending. However, I will definitely be writing companion stories to this fic So I've added it to a series)
> 
> Okay, so I know that everyone reacts to miscarriages differently. I actually was talking to a really kind lady and she shared with me her personal experience with it, and she reacted similarly to Akaashi and Bokuto do in my fic. 
> 
> Also, let's talk about (sex baby) sign language. So sign names are just a shortened way to say someone's name without spelling it out all the time. Technically, they should only be given by people who have been involved in the sign language community for a long time to avoid using a sign name that is also an actual word. I know sign language, but I'm not advanced so if anyone sees any errors with what I have please point them out! I try to be as accurate as possible!
> 
> Side fact: The thing Noya told Shouyou before he left was "be really cute and you'll have a family in no time"


	3. Brighter than the Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are finally looking up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The World Seems Brighter than the Sun Now That You're Here.  
> Though Our Eyes Will Need Some Time to Adjust  
> To the Overwhelming Light Surrounding Us"  
> -Light, Sleeping At Last

While Bokuto may have thought that all it takes to adopt a child is to walk into the foster home and simply say “we want this kid,” Akaashi was sensible enough to realize that it didn’t quite work that way. There was paper work and home checks and you had to actually get to know a kid before you adopted him. 

Which is why he isn’t surprised when Asahi tells them exactly that; his husband on the other hand looks absolutely scandalized. 

“You-you just can’t,” Asahi stutters. He takes a calming breath and shuffles the papers in front of him. “I mean, you can adopt Shouyou. But you can’t - the adoption process usually takes more than a year! There’s still paperwork. And we’re going to have to do background checks and make sure that you’re actually suitable to take care of a child. Not that I don’t think you guys are suitable or anything! It’s just, um, a lot goes into raising a kid and there’s also the fact that Shouyou’s deaf and do you guys even know sign language?”

Bokuto puffs out his chest. “We can learn!”

“I checked out some books at the library,” Akaashi says, thinking that Asahi might be able to place more confidence in his answer than Bokuto’s bravado. “I’ve learned some of the basics already, and we can always pay for lessons.”

“But-”

“We can do it,” Bokuto states and looks Asahi dead in the eyes, the stare so disconcerting that Asahi nearly forgets how to breathe. “The thing is, we want to have a family. And we want Shouyou to be a part of it.”

The conviction in Bokuto’s voice is overwhelming. Beside him, Akaashi’s expression mirrors the same resolute confidence. 

And then there’s Shouyou. 

Shouyou who looks happier than he’s ever been, sitting in Akaashi’s lap, swinging his feet happily and grinning the biggest smile Asahi has ever seen on any of his kid’s faces.

This boy’s been through so much. All Asahi wants is for him to find him a family that will look at him like he’s their entire world. 

And one glance at the men’s faces across from him makes him think that maybe they’re that family. 

“Okay.”

Their reactions are immediate. Bokuto’s grin is blinding and he grabs one of Akaashi’s hands as he laughs breathlessly. Akaashi looks shocked for a couple of seconds, but he joins in on Bokuto’s laughter and lets himself be pulled into the louder man’s chest, dragging Shouyou along with him. Despite his look of confusion, the grin spread across the toddler’s face tells Asahi that he’s more than happy to be squished between the two men. 

Asahi can’t stop a smile of his own from creeping across his face. “I’ll draw up the paperwork, and you’ll have to prove to me that you’re up to the task of learning sign language. If all goes well, you should be able to start visits in a few weeks.”

 

“Tetsurou, you need to teach us American Sign Language.”

Bokuto looks like a complete idiot, on his knees, hands clasped together, lip pouting, begging his best friend to be his tutor. 

He wants Shouyou, damn it, and he’s not going to let anything get in the way of that. If that meant groveling to a man that will definitely hold it over his head for the rest of his life then so be it.

“I don’t know ASL. And I’m pretty sure Shouyou doesn’t either.”

Okay, so that isn’t the answer he was expecting.

“What do you mean you don’t know ASL? You were signing with Shouyou weren’t you?” It’s Akaashi that speaks this time, standing upright behind Bokuto, refusing to beg like the proud bastard he is. 

“I wasn’t using ASL,” Kuroo turns to walk out of the foyer (Bokuto had dropped to his knees as soon as they entered the house) and they follow him into the living room. Kuroo takes a seat on the couch where Kenma’s playing a game and drapes an arm around his boyfriend while Akaashi and Bokuto sit on the love seat across from him. “I was using Conceptually Accurate Signed English. They’re similar, but not the same.”

“How similar?” 

“American Sign Language is a language of it’s own for the Deaf community; it has its own sentence structure, idioms and vocabulary,” Kenma pipes up. “Conceptual signing borrows a lot of ASL signs, but it follows english grammar rules so it has a couple of its own, too.”

Kuroo pinches Kenma’s cheek, “You’re so smart, babe.”

Kenma swats him away irritably, like a grumpy cat. “Conceptual signing might be beneficial for Shouyou later, too, if he ever gets hearing aids and tries to learn oral english.” 

“We don’t even know if hearing aids will ever be an option for him.” Actually, they don’t know a lot of things about Shouyou. Since their visit with Asahi, Bokuto and Akaashi haven’t returned to the youth home. After filling out the papers, they walked out with files of potential adoption candidates in their hands and a smile from Shouyou that they had to leave behind. While sorting through the papers, they gave the other kids the respect they deserved and read through their files. 

But they always ended up back at Shouyou’s.

Their little sunshine child was brought into a youth home before he was even two years old. His parents were negligent, abusive and just downright dreadful; Shouyou was malnourished and had several bruises when a neighbor noticed something was wrong and called police. It wasn’t until custody was seized from his parents that he was taken to the doctor for the first time and his deafness was diagnosed. Due to his parent’s negligence, the cause of his deafness is unknown, but it’s probable that Shouyou was ill, and because he went untreated, the sickness caused his hearing to fail . Cochlear implants are an option to treat his deafness, but the toddler threw a tantrum when Asahi tried to explain the procedure to him. So, as of right now, Shouyou lives his life in silence and that won't change until a doctor decides that he's eligible for hearing aids. 

But that's all the information the files could give them.

Akaashi and Bokuto have so many questions. They want to talk to his pediatrician, to the police officers that took him away from those awful people, to Asahi about how Shouyou was like this past year that he’s been in the youth home. They want to know if Shouyou doesn't mind his deafness, if he'd be okay with being raised without a mother, and if he'd be okay with just two fathers instead. They want to know so much about this little boy. 

And all they have is a couple of papers.

It’s so frustrating to know so little about someone you so badly want to love.

But they’re positive that their paperwork will go through. Then they can learn everything there is to know about Shouyou. They just have to wait patiently. 

And learn sign language. 

“So will you teach us?”

Kenma looks up from his game and Kuroo smirks arrogantly. “When do you want to start?”

“Right now.”

 

Their first lesson in sign language is a bit of a disaster. 

Bokuto and Kuroo keep distracting one another with lame jokes and awful puns (“Hey, bro, why don’t I give you a _hand_ with sign language?”) and, by the end of the first hour, Bokuto still hasn’t learnt any of what they were trying to teach. In the end, Kenma is forced to kick Kuroo out of the house so they can actually get some studying done. 

They start with the alphabet (“If you don’t know the sign for a word, you can just spell it out”) and Kenma walks them through all of the hand signs. Akaashi picked up on the hand shapes easily enough, but lacks the dexterity to make each one quickly. Meanwhile, Bokuto is able to form the signs with ease, but only if he can remember which shape goes to which letter; the only ones he has memorized by the end of the day are the ones that looked similar to the letter they were based after like W or O. 

After their lesson, they spend the rest of the night at home practicing the alphabet. Akaashi spells out the names of objects around the house until he can sign out each letter swiftly.

Even as he prepares their dinner, he signs out each ingredient he cooks. 

Even Bokuto, who was a poor student in high school because he always procrastinated and bullshitted his homework, refuses to leave their bedroom until he has every letter of the alphabet memorized. Akaashi manages to drag him out to eat, but only after he correctly names all of the letters Akaashi quizzes him on. 

That night, an air of serenity settles throughout their apartment, choking out any traces of despair that may have clung to the crevices of their home. 

Things may not have been perfect yet, but they were getting there.

 

Their first visit with Shouyou makes everything worth it. 

It’s been nearly two months since their first visit to the youth home, two months for them to be approved as parents, two months for their happiness to finally become a possibility. 

In that time, they’ve been to Kuroo and Kenma’s house nearly everyday to learn CASE. After the alphabet, they learned basic verbs, question words and verb endings that were unique to conceptual signing. Then, Kenma taught them signs that would probably be used in a conversation with a toddler; words like snack, game and book. But they don’t know everything, far from it, so communication with Shouyou might be a little rocky.

They’ve tried so hard these past couple of months, but what if it wasn’t enough? 

What if they still can’t talk with Shouyou?

What if they can’t bring him into their lives?

What if this is nothing more than some impossible fantasy that won’t ever become a reality?

But, thirty seconds into their visit, all of their fears are kicked out the window. 

They’re met with an adorable ball of overalls, orange hair and neon bandages as soon as they enter the youth home. Shouyou slams right into Akaashi in his excitement and laughs as he’s sent sprawling across the floor.

“I’ll leave you guys to it,” Asahi says and Akaashi watches his hands as he signs, relieved to see that he’s able to make out the words. Asahi leans down to stand Shouyou upright and ruffles his hair. Before leaving the room, he signs, “ _Be good, Shouyou_.” 

Akaashi and Bokuto sit down on the floor in front of Shouyou. Anxiety is crawling its way up Akaashi’s throat and it wraps itself around his mind as he looks at the boy he so desperately wants in his life. Next to him, Bokuto is bouncing on his knees and his fingers tap against his thigh restlessly. 

Who would’ve thought that the scariest thing in the world was a toddler with ripped overalls and a gap-toothed smile? 

Akaashi’s hand wraps itself around Bokuto’s and squeezes. When his husband looks over, Akaashi gives an assured nod and slips his palm out of Bokuto’s. 

“ _Hi, Shouyou. My name is K-E-I-J-I and this is my husband K-O-U-T-A-R-O-U. We are really glad to see you today.”_

For a few, agonizing moments, Shouyou gives no indications that he understood. Instead, he stares at Akaashi’s hands, now motionless on his knees, with his mouth agape. 

Then, his eyes slide up to Akaashi’s face and he smiles so wide that Akaashi’s sure that he needs sunglasses just to look at it. 

“ _You know sign!”_ He bounces in his excitement and it takes both Akaashi and Bokuto a couple of seconds to decipher what he had signed out.

When they make sense of Shouyou’s words, Akaashi’s heart stutters and he covers his mouth with his hands as a sob threatens to spill out from between his lips. Bokuto spins Akaashi’s head to face him and rips his hands away, planting a solid kiss on his lips and laughing ecstatically. 

They can talk to Shouyou. 

Bokuto raises his own hands and says, _“We learned it so we can talk to you! We’re a little bad at it, though.”_

Shouyou’s eyes light up and he darts out of the room. Before Bokuto or Akaashi can even get up to follow him, he returns with a picture book clasped against his chest and dives into the small space between the two, flipping the book open as soon as he’s settled. He tilts his chin up to smile at them and signs, “ _Teach!”_

Bokuto grins down at Shouyou so affectionately that Akaashi’s brain short circuits and he has to remind himself how to breathe. This is actually happening. He and Bokuto are both falling in love with this perfect, precious little boy and everything’s finally going right for once. 

As they sit there, letting Shouyou teach them the signs for ‘dog’ and ‘apple’ and everything else that’s pictured in his cardboard picture book, they begin to think that the universe has finally had enough of fucking them over.

 

“You know,” Asahi says during Bokuto and Akaashi’s nth visit to the youth home, “you can arrange to take Shouyou home with you for a night. See how he fits in, introduce him to your friends and their kids, take him to daycare the next day. Like a test run.”

Akaashi doesn’t look at Asahi as he speaks, too busy watching the scene in front of him. Bokuto and Shouyou are running across the yard, Bokuto stretching out his arms to snag Shouyou while the toddler manages to duck at the last second to evade capture. Bokuto trips over his own feet and face plants into the dirt with an oomph. Shouyou cackles, jumping on top of Bokuto with enough force to make the man groan. “That’s okay?”

“Yeah. It’s actually recommended as a part of the adoption process so we can make sure the child’s comfortable in your home. And you guys have been coming for visits for about three months now and can talk to him with absolutely no help from me so now seems like a good time to do it.” 

Akaashi leans forward to pick up the glass of lemonade on the table in front of him. “We don’t even have a room set up for him yet.”

“Really?” Asahi’s shock is a little too obvious to be considered polite and he coughs in an effort to cover it up. “I’m sorry. It’s just that most parents have a kid’s room prepared as soon as they get matched with a child. And you guys seem so determined to see this through that I figured you would’ve had everything done already.”

Akaashi doesn’t want to say anything about the last time he had a child’s room in his home. He doesn’t want to say anything about how it nearly killed him to take it all apart. He doesn’t want to say anything about how he’ll probably never recover if he has to go through all that again.

Akaashi doesn’t need to say anything about that, though, because Asahi has heard a similar story enough times to figure it out. “Honestly,” he reassures. “it’s hard for me to imagine this going south for you both. Shouyou loves you and I’ve seen nothing but good things from you and your husband.” He claps Akaashi on his back and stands to go back inside the youth home. “I would get started on Shouyou’s room if I were you.”

 

Two trips to Ikea, a pile of color swatches and a difficult bed assembly later, Shouyou’s bouncing excitedly in his car seat on his way to their apartment. He’s clutching the stuffed owl Bokuto bought him last week and his bright orange backpack sits on the seat next to him, filled with pajamas, his tooth brush, and his favorite toys. 

During the car ride, Bokuto sings along to the radio obnoxiously and wails every high note dramatically. Even though he can’t hear, Shouyou quickly catches on to what is happening (it looks awfully similar to what Nishinoya does whenever he pulls Shouyou into dancing with him while he sings), and he claps along with Bokuto gleefully, happy to contribute in some way. Even Akaashi is infected by the enthusiasm, the warmth seeping deep into his bones, and he hums along harmoniously, a stark contrast to Bokuto’s off-key whale sounds and Shouyou’s off-beat clapping. 

As soon as they pull into the apartment complex, Akaashi unbuckles Shouyou from his carseat and wraps him in his arms while Bokuto hikes his backpack over his shoulder. When they get to the elevator, Shouyou reaches desperately for the little button and Akaashi leans forward so he can slap his hand on the up arrow. Shouyou bounces impatiently in Akaashi’s hold as they wait for the elevator and, as soon as they step inside, he hovers his hands over the wall of numbers. They hang there indecisively, and he looks up at Akaashi and Bokuto for help. 

_“We live on twelfth floor. Do you know which one is the twelve, Shouyou?”_ Bokuto, the only one with free hands, signs. 

Shouyou nods eagerly, finger pointing to the button with the number 12 printed across it. He looks back at Bokuto for approval and, at Bokuto’s nod, pushes the button, laughing happily when it lights up. 

As punishment for being so damn cute, Akaashi raises Shouyou in his arms and nuzzles his nose against his cheek, kissing the soft blush there with a wet smack before blowing a raspberry against his neck. Shouyou squeals breathlessly and wiggles desperately to get away, holding his arms out to Bokuto in hopes to be rescued. In response, Bokuto just raises his arms helplessly and takes a step back, unable to free the poor kid from his husband’s wrath. 

Shouyou’s torture lasts until the elevator doors ding open, and he gasps for air as Akaashi carries him down the hallway. They stop in front of the door to their apartment and Bokuto slips the key into the lock. 

He doesn’t turn it, though.

Instead, he turns back to Shouyou and signs, _“Are you ready Shouyou?”_

Shouyou nods fervently. He wants to go inside and see his room and play with Bokuto and Akaashi. He wants to feel like he’s a part of a family, like he belongs somewhere. He wants this to be his home. 

_“I don’t know. Akaashi, does he seem ready to you?_ ” Bokuto looks up at his husband grins devilishly.

Shouyou feels Akaashi’s chest vibrate against his back gently; he must be laughing. But why is he laughing, this isn’t funny! Don’t they want him to be a part of their home?

_“I’m ready!”_ Shouyou signs desperately. He reaches for the key pleadingly, hoping they’ll understand and turn the lock and let him into their home. 

Let him into their family.

Bokuto shakes as he laughs wholeheartedly and he ruffles Shouyou’s hair with one hand as he twists the key with the other. Shouyou grins as the door swings open and he slips out of Akaashi’s arms to run inside the house. Bokuto grabs him before he can get very far, but that’s okay.

He’s inside their home.

There have been other families that were interested in taking him home during his year with Asahi and Noya, but it never got far with them. Many of them couldn’t sign and gave up on having a kid they couldn’t even talk to, and the ones that could sign always seemed to find something else that was wrong with him. 

He didn’t understand for a long time. All of his friends were going home with families, their smiling faces being added to the photo wall of adopted kids, but he was still at the youth home. And then Noya told him that it was just because the other families weren’t right for him, weren’t good enough for him. And one day, a nice, perfect family will come and love Shouyou to pieces and they’ll take him home; a perfect, happily-ever-after ending that sounded like it belongs in one of the fairy tales Asahi reads to him. 

And, as Bokuto and Akaashi carry Shouyou to the room they set up for him, he imagines that this is the happily-ever-after he’s been waiting for. 

 

Shouyou’s room is paradise. 

His drawings and colorings are framed and hung across the light peach walls. A white dresser stretches across one of the walls, sitting next to a chest of cubbies containing toys and crayons and anything else Shouyou would ever dream of wanting. His bed is pushed against a window that looks across the street outside and the orange comforter, decorated with little black birds, is covered with stuffed animals of all sizes and colors. He hops over the side rails of the bed and buries himself beneath the toys, throwing all of the animals up in the air joyfully and laughing as they rain down on top of him. 

When he turns to look behind him, Bokuto and Akaashi are still standing in the doorway of his bedroom. Bokuto’s arms are around Akaashi’s waist and his chin rests on his husband’s shoulder as he watches Shouyou, eyes shining and mouth pulled upward in a staggering grin. Akaashi’s smiling, too, but his face is pressed into Bokuto’s cheek so the subtle tilt of his lips is almost imperceptible. 

They’re talking, Shouyou can see their lips moving through their smiles, but they aren’t signing so Shouyou can’t make out what they’re saying. Hoping to join in on the conversation, he leaps off of the bed and launches himself at both of them, surprising Akaashi and forcing him to catch Shouyou before he plummets back to the ground. 

It isn’t until Akaashi buries his face into his hair that Shouyou realizes that he’s crying. He lurches away and frantically signs to Bokuto, _“Why is he sad? What did I do?”_

Bokuto smiles gently and slips his arms from Akaashi’s waist. _“You didn’t do anything wrong, baby. He’s really happy you’re here, that’s all.”_

At Bokuto’s words, Akaashi squeezes Shouyou a little tighter and presses a kiss into his hair. Shouyou grins, “ _I’m really happy I’m here, too!”_

Bokuto’s eyes are a little glossy as he responds, _“That’s good. I’m glad, Shouyou.”_

 

They’re sitting on the living room floor, playing a board game when the doorbell rings. Both Akaashi and Bokuto glance at one another in confusion before Akaashi stands up to answer the door, Shouyou’s eyes following curiously as he swings it open. 

As soon as the door opens, Akaashi wants to slam it shut. 

It’s too late, though; Kuroo has already barged into the apartment, slinging an arm around Akaashi’s neck and singing in his ear, “Hello, Keiji. We’re here to meet the new arrival.”

Kenma shuffles into the apartment behind him. He pockets the cell phone in his hand and drags his boyfriend off of Akaashi. “Sorry, Keiji. He’s just really excited to meet Shouyou.”

“Bro!” Bokuto yells from the living room and comes crashing into the kitchen to yank Kuroo away from Kenma and clap him on the back. 

“Bro,” Kuroo responds and they do that manly-man handshake that every guy seems to know. “How’s it going with the kid?”

Bokuto grabs Kuroo by the shoulder and shakes him excitedly, gushing about how great Shouyou is and how happy they are. 

While the two men have their moment, Kenma’s eyes catch sight of a tiny head of orange hair peeking out from the living room. “Is that him?”

Akaashi looks over and lets a small smile creep over his face, “Yeah. Did you want to meet him?”

Kenma nods and Akaashi leads him into the living room. They sit on the floor next to the coffee table and Shouyou crawls into Akaashi’s lap, curious eyes never leaving Kenma’s face. 

_“Hello,”_ Kenma signs and Shouyou’s eyes light up with glee. He lurches out of Akaashi’s lap to stand in front of Kenma and talks to him animatedly. His gestures are wide and lively, making up for Kenma’s more timid, gentler signs. 

From the kitchen, Kuroo pulls Bokuto into a short, one-armed hug. “I’m happy for you, man.”

Bokuto just grins, watching Shouyou proudly.

“Just wait until Daichi and Suga come here and see you guys.”

Akaashi sighs from his spot in the living room. “Please tell me you didn’t invite them over too.”

 

Kuroo did invite Daichi and Suga over. 

And they brought Tobio with them too. 

After the doorbell rings for the second time that night (when they were expecting it to ring a total of zero times), their small apartment is filled to capacity with all eight of them. 

Shouyou’s conversation with Kenma must have made him a little bolder because he ventures into the foyer to meet the new people with the rest of them. He hides himself behind Bokuto’s legs as he tries to gauge the strangers in front of him. 

“That must be Shouyou,” Suga laughs and smiles at the couple across from him. “He’s absolutely adorable.”

“Oi, Tobio!” Daichi calls. “Get out of the kitchen, there’s no food for you there. Come out here and meet Shouyou.”

When there’s no response, Daichi mumbles an apology and stalks into the kitchen. He comes back out seconds later, pushing a grumpy looking toddler in front of him, and places him in front of Shouyou. “It’s not gonna hurt you to make a friend, Tobio.”

At the sight of another kid his age, Shouyou leaves the shelter of Bokuto’s legs and jumps in front of Tobio. He signs the word hello, not that Tobio would recognize it anyway, and the other boy stutters, “Um, hi?”

Shouyou grins and grabs Tobio by the hand, dragging him out of the foyer and disappearing into his bedroom. 

“Well, that went better than expected,” Suga says and Daichi nods in agreement. 

“Now that the kids are settled,” Kuroo laughs and struts into the kitchen. “Where do you guys keep the alcohol around here?”

“We’re not drinking the first night our kid spends with us,” Akaashi drags Kuroo away from the cabinets. He opens the fridge and pulls out several cans of soda. 

“So now I know which one of you guys is going to be the buzzkill parent. Not that it was too much of a puzzle in the first place,” Kuroo says, reaching across the table to grab one of the cans. “Koutarou was obviously going to be the fun one anyway.”

Bokuto puffs out his chest, “Damn right.”

Akaashi sighs, “Please don’t encourage him.”

Daichi picks up a can of soda to pass to his husband before grabbing one for himself. “With a kid around, you’re gonna want to be drinking,” he jokes. “They’re complete mayhem and chaos. Want-to-tear-your-hair-out headache levels. Just the worst.”

“But they're cute,” Suga adds, “so you put up with them.” 

There’s a crash from the direction of Shouyou’s room and all six adults freeze. 

“There’s the chaos,” Daichi mutters and then the four parents are all dashing across the apartment, flinging open the door to Shouyou’s room. 

Shouyou’s sitting on the floor, looking down at the mess of toys spread out in front of him in confusion. They look like they’ve just been dumped out from one of the cubbies from his dresser, resulting in the loud crash. Tobio stands above it all, arms crossed, glaring angrily at Shouyou. “What are you? Stupid?” he snaps. 

“Tobio!” Suga gasps and grabs his son by the collar, yanking him away from the smaller boy on the floor. Akaashi steps over the pile of toys, picks Shouyou up from the ground and holds him against his chest protectively. The boy looks confused, but otherwise alright. 

“He wouldn’t talk to me!” Tobio shouts angrily and points a shaking finger at Shouyou. “I talked to him and he ignored me!”

“That’s no reason to call him stupid,” Daichi reprimands and swats Tobio across the back of his head gently. 

“I just wanted him to talk to me,” Tobio pouts, rubbing the back of his head and digging his toe into the floor. 

“Remember what we talked about in the car, Tobio?” Suga asks and squats so he’s eye level with his son. “Shouyou can’t hear. That means he can’t talk to you either.”

“He can’t talk?”

“He has his own special way of talking. He uses a secret language with his hands,” Suga wiggles his fingers in front of Tobio’s face and the boy gapes. 

“Do you know the secret language, daddy?”

Suga shakes his head. “It’s so secret that I don’t even know it, and neither does your father. But Uncle Bokuto and Uncle Akaashi both know it and so do Uncle Kenma and Uncle Kuroo.”

Tobio spins around to face Bokuto. “I want to say sorry.”

Bokuto grins, “Maybe I can show you if you ask a little nicer.”

“Please, tell me how to say sorry to Shouyou.”

Bokuto crouches down and shows Tobio to make a fist with his hand and rub his chest in a small circle. Then, Tobio turns and repeats the motion to Shouyou. “I’m sorry!”

Shouyou beams and slides back to the ground. Picking up a toy truck, he hands it to Tobio and plops down on the floor. Tobio sits down next to him and they push the truck back and forth between them. 

“I’m so sorry about that,” Suga apologizes. 

Akaashi watches the boys pass the truck around for a second. Then he turns around and smiles. “It’s fine. But I think it would be a good idea for someone to stay in here and watch them.”

 

The next morning is absolute mayhem.

Shouyou is an even deeper sleeper than Bokuto is, and it’s only made worse by the fact that loud noises do nothing to wake him up. After fifteen minutes of trying to shake him awake, Bokuto has a breakthrough and attacks Shouyou with tickling fingers. 

Saying that Shouyou wakes up fast would be an understatement. 

And then starts the chaos of getting him ready for daycare. They wrangle him out of his blue, cloud-patterned pajamas, and rope him into a black shirt with a volleyball on it and a pair of jeans. Akaashi makes them french toast for breakfast, and they have to force him to brush his teeth after eating. Then, they grab the owl stuffed animal (otherwise known as Shouyou’s best friend and traveling companion), buckle him into his car seat, and drive to daycare. 

The car ride consists mostly of Shouyou whining from his spot in the back seat. Every time Akaashi glances in the rear view mirror, the toddler is signing something about how he doesn’t want to go to daycare, he wants to stay with Akaashi and Bokuto, don’t make him go.

Akaashi’s glad Bokuto isn’t driving the car; he would’ve given in miles ago and made a u-turn to spend the day with Shouyou.

He can whine all he want, but Akaashi’s taking him to his fucking daycare.

When they reach Seijoh Daycare, Shouyou’s finished his complaining and reluctantly lets Akaashi pull him out of the carseat. He gives both men a sloppy kiss on their cheeks and then crosses his arms over his chest.

_“Love you.”_

He disappears into the sea of children before either of them can respond.

They’ll just have to wait until after they pick him up from daycare to tell him just how much they love him, too.

“Excuse me,” a voice says from behind them, and Akaashi feels a tap on his shoulder. They turn to face one of the most gorgeous men they have ever seen with pristine, golden brown hair and a smile that could melt butter.

Akaashi elbows his husband in the stomach because he knows for a fact that Bokuto’s drooling. 

“My name’s Tooru Oikawa,” he introduces himself and shakes Akaashi and Bokuto’s hands. “I’m a supervisor here at Seijoh. I noticed that you dropped Shouyou off today and was wondering if you were the couple that Asahi mentioned? The one interested in adopting Shouyou?” 

“That would be us. Keiji Akaashi. This is my husband Koutarou Bokuto.”

“Oh, you kept your last names after marriage? I’ll have to tell my boyfriend; maybe he’ll actually propose if he knows that his family name isn’t threatened,” he laughs. “Do you guys know sign? I’m glad that you’re interested in Shouyou, but it’d be best for him if he goes into a household that signs.”

“Yes, but we’re still learning,” Bokuto says, signing the words as he speaks as if to prove a point. 

“Good, good.” Oikawa nods his head approvingly. “Hard of hearing kids that know how to sign tend to do better in school and social settings. It’s always a shame seeing deaf kids whose parents don’t put in the effort to learn sign, it really dampens their progress.”

“We didn’t think it’d be fair to Shouyou to not learn sign for him.”

“It’s a good decision. He’s doing really well here. He picks up on new words quickly and has a pretty big vocabulary for his age. I think he might even be picking up on lip reading, too.”

“What?”

“It’s kind of hard to notice, especially because we usually watch his hands when he talks and not his lips. But for some common words, I think he’s begun to mimic the lip shapes that people make while they sign them. I always talk while I sign since some of the kids have hearing aids and know oral english, and I think Shouyou’s matching the lip movements with the signs.”

“I didn’t even know that could happen.” Next to Akaashi, Bokuto shakes his head in amazed agreement. 

“It’s not common, but it’s happened before. If that’s actually what he’s doing and he gets good at it, he could probably go to a hearing school in the future and fit in with the hearing community pretty well. Watch his lips the next time he speaks, but I’m pretty sure I’m right.”

Akaashi nods, “Yeah, we’ll watch for that.”

Oikawa grins (and holy shit is it swoon-worthy) and shakes the men’s hands one last time. “I hope everything works out with Shouyou,” and then he leaves them alone in the daycare.

 

Oikawa was right, Shouyou is mouthing the words as he signs.

At first, it’s only simple, common words that are used periodically between him, Akaashi and Bokuto. But as they spend more time with Shouyou in the months to come, he does it more frequently and with more complicated words. 

Whenever Shouyou spends the night at Akaashi and Bokuto’s, Tobio typically comes over to visit, too. After meeting Shouyou that first day, he pestered Suga to take him to the library and asked the librarian where all of the books about ‘the secret hand language’ were. Since then, he’s slowly begun learning sign language with Shouyou and the smaller boy has been more than happy to have a constant friend he can talk to. 

Everything is finally beginning to settle.

Nearly a year after first meeting Shouyou, Akaashi and Bokuto walk into the youth home to pick up Shouyou for their weekly sleep-over. At their arrival, Shouyou bounds towards them eagerly and skids to a stop in front of them, signing, _“I have a surprise!_ ”

Akaashi crouches down to give him a kiss on his forehead, _“What’s the surprise, baby?”_

Asahi walks in from the same direction that Shouyou came running from as Shouyou signs out, _“Sign names!”_

Then, he raises his hand up to his forehead and makes the letter A shape. He drops his hand before repeating the motion with the B shape. 

Akaashi and Bokuto freeze. Not because of the names per se, but because of their _location_. 

The sign for ‘father’ is signed right in front of the forehead in the very same motion that Shouyou had used for their name signs. 

Unaware of their shock, Asahi speaks from his position behind Shouyou. “He was going to use the initials of your first names but they both start with K, so I told him your surnames. It’s a pretty good thing that you both kept your own surname or else Shouyou would’ve been thrown for a pretty big loop and-”

“Asahi,” Akaashi says and he pauses in his monologue. He’s taken aback by the serious expression on Akaashi’s face and the matching one on his husband’s and is forced to take a deep breath. “Can we talk to you for a second?”

Asahi nods and the three men walk into the office, closing the door behind them and leaving Shouyou alone in the empty hallway.

 

Shouyou doesn’t know what he did wrong. Asahi had told him that making a sign name for them would make them happy, but they seemed angry when they followed Asahi into his office. 

He sits in the hallway, waiting impatiently for the office door to open. He really hopes he didn’t ruin things. All he wanted was to be a part of a family, to be a part of _their_ family.

They’re in there an awful long time before the door finally swings open. When Bokuto and Akaashi walk out, Shouyou’s relieved to see a large smile across Bokuto’s face and a gentler one on Akaashi’s.

Bokuto bends down to swoop Shouyou into his arms and swings him around. Giggles bubble out from Shouyou’s throat as he’s spun in a circle and Bokuto pulls him against his chest snugly. 

Across from Bokuto, Akaashi reaches out a hand to run it through Shouyou’s hair. _“How do you feel about coming home with us?”_

_“A sleepover?”_

_“No. Forever.”_

And Shouyou grins.

Nishinoya was right. The right family did come eventually.

And they’re _his_ family now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *jazz hands*
> 
> Look at me, mom! I finished a fic! (actually please don't look mom you'd probably be so ashamed of me writing gay fanfiction, I'm sorry, mother)
> 
> I'm sorry that this took a little long. i got really sick this week and then I spent a lot of my time trying to finally beat Soul Silver (Claire, you punk ass bitch, I beat your ass fair and square (and with several hyper potions) what the hell do you mean 'I'm not worthy of the pokemon league'???)
> 
> For any of you who are kind of sad to see this end do not fret! I will be almost definitely writing a ton of little on shots that fit inside this AU, probably including but not limited to, Shouyou's first experience with hearing aids, a service dog and KAGEHINA. If you're interested, make sure that you're subscribed to the series this work belongs to 'Quiet Crow and Companions.'
> 
> God bless you all for reading.
> 
> Sage is out. Peace
> 
> Come chat with me on my [tumblr](http://ive-been-losing-sleep.tumblr.com/)


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